‘Sissy seeking Mistress’ Write the ultimate ad

Fetlife is my favourite place online. I follow all sorts of groups. Some for education. Some for entertainment. Some for kinky, ‘let’s-get-wet’ thrills.

It’s not often that something stops me in my tracks, and even rarer when it’s a ‘sub seeks Dominant’ ad.

But one ad stopped me and made me read every word. And then I contacted the submissive who placed it. That’s a good ad.

The ad was written by @Soft-Emily (Fetlife ID) and I asked if she would let me share it on my blog to show sissies what I consider to be the ultimate ‘seeking’ ad. Emily kindly said ‘Yes’ and you can read the whole thing below. Any Dommes near Ottawa? Emily is still looking, so get in touch with her.

But first, let me explain why this ad is so good.

Length and depth

When I’ve been seeking a sissy and I’m looking through endless ads, it’s SO frustrating to read an ad that’s two lines long and tells me nothing! This is even more irritating when you go to the profile and it’s empty or has the same two lines on it. 

This is a red flag. It shouts ‘I’m lazy’ or ‘I’m not serious about this’. 

And if you think that by writing two lines and saying ‘If you want to know more, ask me’ is all you need to do, think again. Most serious Mistresses don’t want to work to drag information out of a sissy in order to decide if they’re a good prospect. Playing message pingpong is a waste of my time, and it’s anti-dynamic. I’m a Dominant. I expect a submissive to serve up information on my terms, not theirs.

Grab a Mistress by the brain

When I see an ad like Emily’s that fills the page, I know immediately that this person has energy and stamina. They CAN be bothered. And they’ve put their whole self forward. This is wonderful. And speaks of someone who understands what submission really means. This is guaranteed to get my full attention and spark my Dominant mind. It gives me so much to respond to. 

The submissive wins too, by giving all this information up front. They increase their chances of a response, and that response will be from a Dominant who’s more likely to be a great match.

A sense of the real person

This is what really wowed me about Emily’s ad. From words alone, I got a very vivid sense of her personality, her humour, how she’ll conduct herself while serving and what she’d be like to dominate (a whole lot of fun if the opening paragraph is anything to go by.) (And yes, the ‘I’ll moan and squirm’ bit did give me a tingle.) As a lifestyle Domme, chemistry with my sissy is everything. An ad like this tells me whether or not I’m likely to click with that person on a D/s level, whether we’ll bounce off each other in the right ways. It also tells me about her wider life. This helps me think about whether our lifestyles are compatible. You might share great D/s vibes, but if your schedules can’t align, it won’t work. Better to find that out before too much is invested. 

All in all

By the time I’ve read the whole ad, I know everything I need to know about Emily to decide if we’re a good match. That’s what a Dominant wants. If you’re a sissy who’s seeking a Mistress, there are so many ideas in this ad that you can learn from. And thank you again to @Soft-Emily for sharing this.

So…here’s the ad.

TITLE: Ottawa Based Experienced and Trained Sissy Maid Looking for a Mistress with Relationship Potential

Who I Am, And What I Offer

curtseys heya 🙂 my name is Emily, and I love love LOVE to serve. Nothing makes me happier than making my mistress happy. I mean that, I’m not some fake maid who will prance around with a feather duster for an hour then demand to be pegged, no ma’am. I like to be useful, i get genuine joy out of doing your dishes, folding your laundry, and brushing your hair. If you want to leave for a day and come back to a spotless home, I’ll happily break out the elbow grease and scrub your place to a shine. If you’re in a more devious mood and want to tie me up and fill me full of vibrators, I’ll moan and squirm to your heart’s content. If you’d like to micromanage, I’ll complete my duties under your crop’s menacing glare. If you’ve had a long day and don’t have the energy to follow your maid around with a whip, just give me a list of chores to do and I’ll manage myself while you collapse on the couch. Pain or pleasure, fantasy or utility, I do all and any in between.

When I’m not on my hands and knees worrying about how much of my ass my uniform covers, I’m living a pretty normal yet busy life. I work full time as a programmer and I just finished the first semester of my second degree, this time in astrophysics. I love to snowboard, and during the summer I go for runs so that I’ll be physically prepared for any adventure I find when I travel. Past adventures have included mountaineering lessons, learning to surf, and Icelandic road trips. If I’m not studying, snowboarding, or travelling, I’m making a mess in my kitchen with a new overly complicated recipe. Just figured out coq au vin, so I’m looking for excuses to show off my new skills 😉

As for my pronouns, any will do as my real gender is attention. I do go out into the vanilla world as Emily since I am gender fluid and I am out to everyone in my life. My kinky maid side on the other hand is something I save for mistress’s eyes only.

Who I’m Looking For

I hope I don’t come across as demanding, but I am a real person with needs so there are a few must haves I’m looking for in a mistress.

Right now I’m only interested in serving a mistress with relationship potential. Not looking to get proposed to tomorrow, but I am looking for someone I can really connect with and serve at the same time.

I need a mistress who respects boundaries and limits. Someone who knows what safewords are and won’t push me beyond what I’m capable of or have agreed to.


No money. I’m not looking to be paid or to pay someone, my reward is a job well done for a mistress I admire.

Separation of kink life and real life. I don’t want friends and coworkers finding out about my kinks. I’ll run errands but not in a maid dress, I’ll serve drinks at a party but only if I ok the guest list first, I’ll pose for photos if they aren’t posted publicly. You get the idea.

No scat, piss, or blood play.

Age play also makes me uncomfortable.

No sexual service until we’ve gotten to know each other.


I am able to provide my own uniform, however I will not provide cleaning supplies


I am fully trained (Unless otherwise noted) in the following skills. That being said, every mistress is unique and has a unique way of doing things. I am willing to submit to training so that my ability may be tailored perfectly to your needs.


Kitchen, Dishes, Cleaning fridges, Cleaning ovens, Cleaning stove tops, Household, Vacuuming, Dusting, Taking out garbage and recycling, Window washing, Floors, Moping, Vacuuming, Sweeping


Laundry, Machine, By hand (Willing to be trained), Ironing, Bed making


Makeup, (self), Doing mistress’s makeup (Partially trained), Hair brushing, Hair curling (Willing to be trained), Esthetician services (Willing to be trained)


Serving drinks (Willing to be trained), Serving appetizers (Partially trained), General entertaining


I am a decent cook and pride myself on making my meals from scratch. Some of my best recipes are: Cajun gumbo, herb roasted chicken, steak frites, pot roast, avocado salad, and pasta salad. If you have a favourite meal you’d like me to prepare, I’d love to learn it for you 🙂

Contacting Me

If I sound like someone who you’d like to have serving you please feel free to add me as a friend or message me. I’m always down for coffee or a drink and would love to get to know any potential mistresses before jumping into play sessions. I do live in Ottawa, but am willing to travel for the right mistress. If you don’t know what to say, ask me about my five questions for new play partners 🙂

Relationships and Coronavirus

Because of the current pandemic I will not be able to play in person, but I would like to get to know people online so that once the pandemic is over we can meet in person 🙂 I am available for anything from pure text based conversations to video chats. Online domination and role play is also something I’m open to, but only once I’ve gotten to know the person.

Find Emily on Fetlife @Soft-Emily

Find me on Fetlife @mistressvirago and read my post on How a sissy gets to be considered by a Mistress. https://fetlife.com/users/457477/posts/5976993

One thought on “‘Sissy seeking Mistress’ Write the ultimate ad

Add yours

  1. Thank you for sharing this. It is so refreshing to hear such great advice and honesty. I have been placing postcards around the area in which I live with my photo on them but have had no reply via email or views on my blog. Do you have any advice?


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