Slowgasm/Nogasm – a sissy’s tale

Today, I’m revisiting the ‘slowgasm/nogasm’ style of sissy release that I wrote about recently. After I put that article out, I was lucky enough to have a sissy from Fetlife comment on my post.

I’m keeping their identity a secret at their request. So, for this, I’m calling them ‘sissy april’.

Sissy april generously offered to tell me about their personal experience with this type of release. It’s revealing on all sorts of levels, and I learnt a lot from their candour. I’m very grateful that they allowed me to share it all – unexpurgated – on my blog.

If you’re into humiliation, loss of control, erotic anticipation, orgasm denial/control, chastity, FLR and emasculation, there is something here for you. 

Question is…will you find it educational or erotic…or both? 

My exchange with sissy april on Fetlife

sissyapril Great article. I am actually VERY familiar with the slowgasm/nogasm!!! It is such a frustrating and humiliating thing to have happen, but at the same time it is such a relief and really helps me feel more like a sissy. There is SO much I can say about the slowgasm/nogasm!!!

MistressVirago @sissyapril I’d love to hear more about your experiences with the slowgasm/nogasm. Is it something that happened naturally for you? Or were you conditioned into it?

sissyapril @MistressVirago I’ve always thought of it as a spontaneous or natural milking. It’s not something I would say I trained to do on the spot, but I notice it tends to happen more when I haven’t had a “release” in a while, especially if I’ve gone through a period where I can’t get it up, or I’ve been edged or teased recently (for instance my wife might have me eat her out for three nights in a row without any release for myself, usually I’ll have nogasm randomly the next week). It is something we kind of discovered randomly, but have incorporated it into our play. I hope that helps.

MistressVirago @sissyapril Thank you for your reply. That’s really interesting. I find the idea of a pleasureless release that could happen anywhere (and all the humiliation that brings) very erotic.

sissyapril @MistressVirago you’re welcome. I’d be glad to share more about it if you’re interested. Like I said originally it such an odd sensation and the conflicting feelings make it such an interesting experience

Sissy april’s words on her nogasm/slowgasm experiences

The emotions and feelings and sensation are so complicated, especially as it is intertwined with the lifestyle.

In some ways it registers as more biological than sexual. I know that it is really just my body expelling the built up fluids, almost like a nocturnal emission, just awake (and without the fun dream). But at the same time, I also know that this is what “release” is for me at this point, so there is a sexual component to it.

It is frustrating in one sense, because it is just a release of fluids. There is no erection, no spurting, no grand sensation, just a limp (and usually inverted) clitty, a wet feeling in my panties, and globs of white stuff leaking out of me, usually for most of the day (I’ve actually had them a few days in a row a before, which is SUPER frustrating, like I thought I got all of this out yesterday, ahhh!!!!). It is just so biological and mechanical that there is no “fun” to it…it’s almost the opposite of enjoyable. It is just kind of happening, and I have to deal with it.

At the same time there is relief when I have a nogasm. It usually comes at time when I have not had any other type of release for a while, especially if I’ve been horny, my wife has been edging me for a few days, or I have not been able to get an erection. There is a kind of “relief” that I’ve gotten it out of my system, and I kind of reset. Like you mentioned in the article there was no “real” refractory period, but I definitely noticed a bit of the “edge” is taken off after a “nogasm.” I find I am still submissive, but less needy, and more compliant and docile after I have had one. It also usually leaves me mostly impotent for a few days afterwards (all factors my wife LOVES about the “nogasm”).

There is also a sense of pride I get from a “nogasm”, because I know that the “nogasm” means I have been a good and chaste sissy. Making that mess in my panties means that my fluids did not come out in a way that they were not supposed to, no matter how much I wanted them to. No matter how tempted I was to cheat or play with myself, that mess only came out because my body said it could not hold it in any longer. There have been times right after, or even during, a nogasm that I find myself very content and proud of myself for the accomplishment. That even though I’m sitting there leaking and making a mess in my panties, and I know I won’t get an erection for a few days, that it is only happening because I have been a good sissy.

There is also the humiliation aspect. On a practical level it is hard going about the day knowing what is going on in your panties, hoping it doesn’t leak through, or the sensation doesn’t change. Knowing that every time you go to the restroom for the rest of the day it’s going to be a mess and smell like crusty cum (and once you get a whiff of it, that smell is with you all day, and you wonder if others can smell it). Sometimes it is hard to accept that you just can’t control it, and that your body just needs to get rid of the juices. It is also humiliating in the sense that it is a reminder that I am not a man. When I have a nogasm, it is a reminder of the fact that real men don’t have build ups like this. That their body doesn’t just say, “let it dribble out.” They get a release, not relief. It is in these moments that I remind myself that even though it makes me less of a man, it makes me more of a sissy, and I should be proud of that.

In terms of my most humiliating one, I can’t think of one that wasn’t humiliating LOL. But one that stands out to me was pretty early on when I discovered the “nogasm”. One day the wife and I were going to spend some time with another couple. Almost as soon as we left the house I could feel my panties getting wet, and I knew I was starting, and I’m pretty sure she did as well (I saw her look at me in the car, and I saw her demeanor change a bit). It was going to be an entire evening of me leaking my sissy fluids from my little clitty and nothing I could do about it. The entire evening I could just feel my fluids being squeezed out. My panties getting wetter and wetter, with nothing I could do about it. I kept trying to ignore it and have a good time, while also being self conscious of any possible leak through, which happened (luckily it was not that obvious, or so I thought). My wife was silent on the ride home. Once we got home, she just looked at me and said, “you smell like stale cum, sleep in it.” And I did. The next day she took me to the store, parked the car, and said, “Since you can’t control your sissy juices, take your clitty in there and buy some panty liners so you don’t EVER embarrass me like that again.” Since then, she makes me have panty liners with me at all times, which has helped with some aspects.

Since discovering the “nogasm,” my wife has really embraced it, and she has really made it my de facto “relief.” There have been times when I think she wants to let me have relief in other ways, but she knows how proud my “nogasms” make me, and she enjoys the power and humiliation aspects. She also likes the relief that after I’ve had one, she doesn’t have to worry about me begging or needing for relief in another way, she can reset the clock on her end as well. She also likes to comment about how wet with sissy juices I’m getting, or call me a slut since my panties get so wet. Without any other kind of relief, I’ll have one about every 3-4 weeks, so my wife will occasionally joke that it’s my time of the month. She also enjoys teasing me and playing with my nipples after a nogasm knowing I can’t get it up. She has really embraced it.

One evening my wife’s girlfriend from the evening I talked about earlier came over to hang out. I went to excuse myself because I was worried I might start leaking, but before I could say anything her friend said, “Going put your pad on? That time of the month sissy?” I was floored. Apparently she had noticed the leakage that night, and a bit of the smell, so my wife told her about our lifestyle. Since she knew, I went to my bathroom, put on my panty liner and came back out in just my panties and t-shirt and we had a “girls night.”

I know this is WAY more than you wanted Mistress Virago, and I apologize for that. But, once I started writing about it I couldn’t stop. Like I said my feelings on the nogasm are complicated, and writing this out has helped me express some of them, so thank you for that. Ultimately, a “nogasm” is an embarrassing, humiliating, and miserable experience. But, embracing those things is part of being a good sissy, cuck, and sub. I hope this helps, and please let me know if you have any more questions.


I wrote and thanked sissy april for gifting me such a meaningful and detailed message. Then a week later, she sent me a follow up message.

There is one thing I would like to add Mistress Virago:

I would like to say that the night my wife, her friend, and I had the “girls night” was probably the closest to having actually “enjoyed” a nogasm. While I was initially embarrassed and it was still physically uncomfortable, I was actually able to relax and just let it flow. I was at home and everyone there knew what was going on, so I was able to get comfortable, relax, and put it out of my mind. 

There was no need to worry about someone finding out, no need to constantly adjust; I was able to just sit down, enjoy my evening, and let my body take care of the fluids. My wife and her friend hardly brought it up, which helped downplay the sexual nature of it and reinforce that it was just something that happens (my wife’s friend did ask some questions initially, but the conversation quickly moved to other topics like work, tv, movies, etc. 

The only other time it came up again was at the end of the night when my wife’s friend asked if she could see the mess and got a good laugh). After her friend left, my wife mentioned how much fun they had that evening and how much more relaxed she was now that someone else knew. It is still one of my proudest sissy moments.

And thank you again, for the article and letting me write to you about it. It has been so helpful to me to write down my feelings on this topic which still creates such conflict in my head.


Thank you sissy april – you know who you are. 

How was it for you?

Have you experienced a nogasm? Do you want to? Does the thought of a public loss of control turn you on or make you cringe? Leave a comment and let me know?

Personally, being the Domme and ‘forcing’ my sissy into this pleasureless loss of control is an immensely arousing thought. *wicked grin*

2 thoughts on “Slowgasm/Nogasm – a sissy’s tale

Add yours

  1. Mistress Virago,


    I cannot claim to have ever experienced a “nogasm.” For whatever reason — biological, most likely — i have been locked in chastity for as long as six months without having an event like this. Granted, arousal happens very easily under those conditions and creates a VERY distinct flow, particularly in the first three months. Wearing the right plug while “out and about” in this condition can cause incidents, often when sitting down. I think a remote-controlled plug that Mistress can activate at will (whether She was present or not) would be delightful.

    Sissy april’s sense of being more “sissy” due to the loss of control is lovely and completely understandable. I suspect it is similar to that moment when a sissy in long-term chastity realizes that she fears release more than indefinite denial. It’s somewhat of a spiral of emotions that feeds on itself. It’s another step, and it’s thrilling and wonderful.

    Thanks to You and to sissy april for sharing this.




  2. I think what a Mistress needs to do for the Sissy is verbal encouragement. For the Sissy, it will seem like those hypnosis videos, but in this case, having the mistress reenforce feeling with the Sissy pussy, and denying the urge of an clit getting engorged, helps the sissy to feel with her pussy. The sissygasm, even the nogasm, is a full body orgasm, not centered on a cult or even a pussy. It takes time & practice. The sissy must think not of their pleasure, but giving it. Throat really what the sissy is for, giving pleasure & gets their pleasure knowing they’ve made their lover orgasm. I recommend that the Mistress, training the sissy, use a small thin strap on or even just a finger. To many Sissies use larger & larger vibrators trying to get more & more feeling. That just won’t do for when the time comes to Have a male lover. The sissy has to think about pleasing them with their pussy, not pleasing themselves.


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