[I’ve held this blog back to see how things would play out, but it was written in the midst of the turmoil, on Friday night, while I’m still feeling played and let down.]
So, my last 24 hours have been unexpected. A sissy I’ve been conversing with, someone with whom I believed I had built trust, screwed up in a big way.
Out of the blue, she dropped a big revelation.
It was a fact about her life.
The fact wasn’t the issue. It happened years before she met me.
But how she did it……it was the last thing I expected.
For months, she’d shown exemplary submissive behaviour, doing everything to be a good girl.
She told me this fact via a DM on Twitter. No written protocol. No *curtsey*. She didn’t kneel. She didn’t even greet me. She just threw it at me.
And in that moment, through her non-submissive behaviour, everything I believed we shared, the sissy I believed her to be, was thrown into the air.
As D/s goes, this is one of the most jarring moments of disrespect I’ve ever been shown by a sissy who professes to desire my ownership.
Here is my response, setting out exactly why her actions made a ruin of her submission.
But this sissy’s huge misstep isn’t the point of this blog. The point I want to share with sissies who might fuck up with equal calamity is what to do next…when you’re facing an irate Dominant who is disrespected and fuming….when you’re terrified they might end things.
My advice – don’t run. If you want even a sliver of hope of redeeming the situation – don’t vanish. Kneel immediately, bow your head, and take whatever’s coming.
If you’ve broken trust in some way, you need to show you can own up to it, and that means being present. This is especially important for online D/s relationships. That can be as simple as saying “I’m sorry, Mistress. I’m kneeling. I’m listening. Tell me how to make it better. I’ll wait for as long as it takes. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Then be prepared to jump and submit the moment She deigns to address you.
I’ve been a Dominant long enough to know that every sissy will fuck up at some point. After all, I’m dealing with a flesh-and-blood person who has their own history, blind spots and insecurities. It’s what that sissy does next that will decide her fate with me. I’m a big believer in meaningful, incisive punishment. If that sissy shows me that she can take my punishment with an open heart and learn from her mistake, that sissy will be forgiven and retain the privilege of our interactions (or, if owned, her collar).
But if she runs…if she ignores me…if she’s not sub enough to accept her own mistake and my correction…then she’s not sissy enough for me.
This is the ‘correction’ I sent to this errant sissy…at 4.30pm on Friday.
*frowning, hands on my hips*
You’re in disgrace.
Take off all sissy items – expect for your chastity device.
Wearing panties, clitty cover, stockings, etc in my honour is a privilege.
Not something you deserve right now.
Your toybox is locked.
You failed utterly to behave like a submissive in respect of this particular issue. So, let’s see how you feel when you’re not allowed to behave like a submissive across all those other aspects of our D/s interactions and your life.
Perhaps it’ll bring you some additional clarity about the part of this that hasn’t just disappointed me, but angered me.
“i did not intend for my circumstances to be concealed from you”
I don’t think I’ve reached the truth from you on this yet, ******. I have a feeling you knew you were clutching a rising balloon. I suspect, quite near the start of our recent interactions, you weighed up whether or not to tell me, and decided not.
So…my out-of-favour sissy…I suggest you do some soul searching about this…and if you have anything to say, crawl to my feet and say it.
I’d rather hear truth that shows you in an unbecoming light than pretence intended to save face.
If you have more thoughts on why your /s conduct went so awry, you’re permitted to present this too.
I’m going to take time to figure out how I feel about this and what to do with you.
The next thing I expect to see from you is a photo showing you’re stripped bare of anything sissified or submissive, but still locked.
Acknowledge my message immediately. Obey me with the photo as swiftly as work permits.
Time tells all
That was written at 4.30pm. At 9.30pm, I’ve had nothing back. But I know she’s read my message. And all I’d asked for was acknowledgement. A *curtsey*. Nothing else was needed immediately.
But it was clearly too much to ask.
And that’s a shame.
Because when your Domme reaches out to you with a punishment, she’s reaching out her hand to you.
She’s giving you something to grasp to pull you close to her again.
If you don’t take her hand, you’ve made your choice.
All that remains to be seen is how long I’ll hold out my hand.
Coda – What happened next
After I’d finished writing the original blog, I decided to send sissy the last four lines of it…one last chance. And this is what followed.
And after truth, reconciliation. *smiling*