Why serving me comes before showing me your face
A lot of sissies don’t have face pics online, even when they are serious about seeking a Dominant to serve. Does this mean they fall at the first hurdle when trying to attract a Domme? Not in my case.
When I’m conversing with a sissy who might become a serious prospect, a face pic is not the first (second or tenth) thing I demand. In fact, I actively discourage that sissy from sharing their face with me until I tell them I want to see it. There are many reasons for this, and both D/ and /s can benefit.
1 I’m looking for a mental connection
This is central to D/s. The chemistry I’m looking for starts with a meeting of minds. It’s a sub’s response to my words and my orders that tells me if there’s a shared spirit between us. I quickly learned as I got into the lifestyle, I don’t need to know what a submissive looks like in order to make a special connection…or to find out that they can’t excite me. All I need for this is words.
My way of trialling sissies is to start on Fetlife or TVChix, using messages on there. Once they’ve proven themself worthy, I grant them the privilege of having my Kik and being able to communicate with me directly and in real-time.
As we message, I uncover who they are. How they write tells me what sort of person I’m dealing with. Can they use punctuation properly? Or are they slapdash? Can they express their emotions like an adult? Or do they vomit a load of emojis on every message? Do they write about the practical aspects of fulfilling a task, or major on how they felt about it all? Do they craft their words to bring a scene to life for me and write generously? Or bang out two lines and hit ‘send’?
People reveal deep parts of their character in how they respond and correspond. I’m usually able to tell if they are introvert or extrovert, what sort of job they do, if they are a creative soul or logical type, whether they have a short attention span or deep focus. This stuff matters hugely. If they don’t match up to my preferences, their face is irrelevant. Why would I need to see it? But if they can push my Dominant buttons mentally, I’ll be aching to see their face. And that’s a great feeling.
2 Time to build trust
When I start corresponding with or trialling a sissy, I make a point of saying early on that I won’t ask for a face pic until they feel completely confident about my integrity. This is important because not all sissy trials turn into consideration or even ongoing casual service.
Sometimes, after a couple of months, I’ll call time on interactions. At that point, depending how things have gone, I might have many photos from that sissy. Very often, these will be far more compromising and explicit than those on the sissy’s profile. They might show humiliating acts, reveal the interior of their home or give away their neighbourhood or place of work. And their face might be clearly visible. But I’ll only have these photos because I’ve reached a point where that submissive has trusted me enough to send them. And they know I’ll keep those photos private beyond the lifespan of our interactions.
It’s a sharp contrast to those sissies who send me identifying photos very early, before I have asked. They merrily bombarded me with pics that fully exposed them during intimate acts, even though they haven’t put this level of content online. Firstly, this feels like they weren’t patient enough to let me lead (which is a different topic) but when they have a sudden change of heart about serving (eg the girlfriend came back on the scene or they had a wobble about their kinky desires), they’re suddenly hugely anxious about what I’ll do with those photos.
I wouldn’t actually do anything with them. But they haven’t taken time to build trust with me, so they don’t know that. All they can think about is that I have a stack of images of them in makeup and a wig with a banana shoved up their sissy pussy. Or humping a teddy bear, or fucking a toilet, or sucking a dildo. My hope is that they’ll be more cautious with the next Domme.
3 Not getting distracted by a pretty face
I’m not going to pretend I’m not susceptible to physical attraction. We all are. And that’s why, when it comes to finding a special D/s connection, I want to evaluate a sissy without my feelings being coloured by their outward appearance. We’ve all seen ‘pretty privilege’ in action. People put up with an unsuitable or downright awful partner because they are physically attractive.
In my world, there is no ‘pretty privilege’. And this is powerful. It gives me absolute clarity about my feelings towards a submissive. If I find them attractive without even having seen them, what does their face matter anyway? I’ll be Domming their soul, not their face. From the sissy’s point of view, they’ll have the reassurance that our connection is real, and not just based on looks.
Love is blind
When I first got to know each of my sissies, none had their face online. And many years later, they still don’t. This gives me an even deeper thrill that I’m the only person in the world who gets to see their face when they’re submitting in photos and videos. I’m the one who gets to see pink cheeks, open lips and closed eyes – those intimate moments dedicated to their Mistress. I treasure this.
Sissies – what have your experiences been? Have Dommes demanded to see your face before you were ready? Did you work up to sharing face pics? I’d love to know.