Sissygasms. How to achieve this mystical, multi-orgasmic sissy state prompts more questions to my inbox than any other sissy topic. I’m regularly asked for guidance from so many sissies, eager to experience a more feminine climax. So, in this blog, I’ve asked my sissy amanda (a sissygasm
addictpro) to write everything she knows about how to train yourself to achieve a sissygasm.
sissy amanda’s experience
I first learned to sissygasm about 10 years ago and I’ve been able to reach that delicious peak of pleasure pretty much without fail ever since. I know that’s not the case for everyone so Mistress asked me to write this post in case it helps other sissies who are hoping to enjoy these incredible sissy orgasms. I can honestly say that for me, learning to cum this way has been life-changing and it’s brought pleasure that I never realised was possible.
First, a definition. A sissygasm is an orgasm where you don’t squirt cum. There’s a huge advantage to this as no squirting means no refractory period and so the doors to multiple orgasms are unlocked. You can literally cum over and over and over until you’ve had enough – and that might be hours later.
If your definition of a sissygasm is different – perhaps for you it means squirting cum without touching your clitty (also known as a HFO or hands-free orgasm) – that’s fine, but this post probably won’t help you achieve that.
So how do you achieve (multiple) sissygasms? I think it’s a combination of:
- Understanding your own biology
- Choosing the best toy
- Setting aside enough time
- Using a method that works for you
- Having the right mindset
Understanding your own biology
I don’t have any medical background so this is my opinion based on my own experiences along with others that I’ve read online.
A key part of this journey is to recognise that orgasm and squirting cum (ejaculation, to use the medical term) are two separate events. For most people, they happen at pretty much the same time and so we assume they are the same thing, or at least that they are irrevocably connected. But an orgasm takes place in the brain while squirting cum is a physical act, and it’s the latter that leads to the refractory period, which often comes with a drop in arousal.
So what if you could prevent the physical bit from happening? That’s easy – stop the sensations to the part of your body (probably your clitty) that causes you to squirt. But then you need to find another way to feel pleasure if you’re to reach orgasm. That’s where your sissy g-spot comes in and where it helps if you know your internal anatomy. This diagram on Wikipedia is your map to help you locate your sissy g-spot (it’s also called your prostate). When you gently massage that hidden gland it can feel intensely pleasurable, eventually leading to a sissygasm.
When you’re playing in this way, your clit might be hard or it might be completely soft. It doesn’t matter either way as it’s no longer the centre of sexual pleasure.
Choosing the best toy
Once you’ve learned to sissygasm, you may find you can get there in all sorts of ways – with dildos, vibrators, a partner’s cock or strapon, or nothing inside you at all. But to start with I recommend an Aneros. To anyone who is used to larger toys, you might wonder how something as small as these little bits of plastic can possibly feel good but key to reaching a sissygasm is to avoid overwhelming yourself with sensations as the feeling you want to to focus on, and nurture like a smouldering ember that you’re coaxing into a flame, will be so subtle at first.
That’s the advantage of the Aneros. You can slide it in and just relax and focus on the sensations, which will feel like a whisper at first. If you instead opt for a vibrator or a dildo, you’ll have too many other things going on to be able to focus on that whisper. You can buy an Aneros from retailers such as Lovehoney or direct from Aneros. Take a look at this animated GIF on the Aneros forum to see the device in action. Once you’ve had a sissygasm, that animation alone will most likely make you squirm.
You’ll need some good lube, too. I much prefer silicone-based over water-based as it doesn’t dry out and it feels more comfortable. Pjur is my favourite brand if you need a recommendation.
Setting aside enough time
I don’t think you can rush this, and once you’ve learned to sissygasm you won’t want to. I always set aside a couple of hours, making sure it’s a time where I don’t have lots of pressing things to distract me and that I won’t be disturbed. Turn off your phone, dim the lights, make sure the room is a comfortable temperature. Lay in bed and slide your toy in – and relax. If you find it hard to relax, music might help, or you might find it to be a distraction, so you might need to experiment to see what works for you.
Using a method that works for you
There isn’t really a right method for everyone; there’s a right method for you, but I think there are some commonalities that work for most people. The first is: ignore your clitty. With so much historical conditioning, that can feel like an impossible task but over time not only does it become easier but it becomes desirable – a clitty is a selfish little thing that will try to steal your pleasure from you if you let it, and in doing so, you’ll be denying yourself the deeper pleasure of multiple sissygasms.
So don’t touch it, and find a way to enjoy being penetrated where your clitty can’t even be inadvertently stimulated. On your back with your legs parted with no bed covers over you works well. On your front, grinding into the mattress, not so good. For the same reason, I would not wear a chastity device or even panties – they’ll divert attention to your clitty and those sensations then overwhelm the subtle pleasure that your g-spot is waiting to give you.
A second thing that many people seem to agree on is that before playing in this way, it can help to remain chaste for a few days, perhaps a week, beforehand.
Then there’s how to use the Aneros. If you read the wiki on the Aneros website, you may feel overwhelmed. I was! It’s like an instruction manual for hand-building and then piloting an aeroplane. I don’t mean any disrespect to the people who wrote it but to me it feels like a very male way of reaching a sissygasm (or ‘Super O’ as it’s referred to in the wiki) – it’s approached like an engineering challenge to be conquered by processes and I wonder if that’s why, amongst the many success stories on the Aneros forum, there are so many posts from frustrated people who have followed every instruction to the letter and are left wanting and feeling like they’ve wasted a load of time and money. That said, the Aneros wiki is definitely worth reading as it has lots of useful information in it but I would not get hung up on following it to the letter.
The two small sections of the Aneros wiki that I think are really useful are:
Do nothing: “Dispense with thinking about holding contractions, controlling your breathing, conscious relaxing, or anything else for that matter, in favour of just lying there and letting the pleasure and Aneros do their thing.”
It doesn’t literally mean do nothing. It means don’t stress about all the instructions and wondering whether you are doing it right and when things are going to start feeling better. Instead, just enjoy the sensations, however subtle.
Try not to orgasm: “This technique confronts a major obstacle to Aneros orgasm success, which is straining for an orgasm. The orgasm must arrive naturally. Notice and particularly enjoy the pleasure you are having, and try to stay right where you are with it. Doing so in fact often ratchets up the pleasure a notch. Try to stay there as well…”
In other words, edge your sissy g-spot. How hot is that?
My experience is that the Aneros simply needs to be able to move inside you very slightly, and that can be caused by your own deliberate (gentle!) contractions or by involuntary ones. If this is your first time with an Aneros, you may not feel much at all for the first 15 or 20 minutes. Take this time to just relax and focus on the sensations, however subtle, because I think the more you try to rush things or force it to happen the less likely it is to happen. And when those sensations do start to build, don’t suddenly tense up and try to hammer away at it and rush towards the goal; stay relaxed and even will your body to slow down a little so you can relish the slowly growing pleasure.
Having the right mindset
I really believe that mindset is as important as the physical methods used. You need to be really relaxed and not worrying about day-to-day stuff so you can immerse yourself in the sensations which may be very subtle at first. And I think that if you chase a sissygasm as a goal (and for sure, it is a goal so it’s hard not to chase it at first) you make it harder to reach that goal.
For me, the greatest success comes when I accept any pleasurable feelings for what they are – pleasure – without questioning what comes next or becoming frustrated if the feelings start to fade. And they do fade; they ebb and flow and that’s all part of the pleasure. There are definite peaks – sissygasms, or dry orgasms – but you might not even realise they happened until afterwards when you are reflecting on your new experiences.
I think a big part of learning to sissygasm is that you are literally rerouting neural pathways in your brain so that you experience pleasure in ways that you never previously thought possible. A decade ago, I believed that sissy pussy conditioning simply meant becoming accustomed to toys so that they didn’t feel uncomfortable; I didn’t honestly believe that such conditioning would lead to increased pleasure, let alone intense multiple orgasms. But I’m so glad that I was proved wrong and hopefully this post can help some of you along that path.
You can follow sissy amanda on FetLife: https://fetlife.com/users/1286804
She’s also the owner of the FetLife Sissygasm group: https://fetlife.com/groups/120622
Request to follow her on Twitter: @sissyamanda