I love verbal humiliation. It’s like gifting pain. When you have a sissy who craves a tongue lashing, it’s a powerful play within the D/s dynamic. Ripping someone to shreds verbally can be a deeply erotic experience, both as the ‘bully’ and the ‘victim’. I use those quotes deliberately. Every harsh word I hit someone with is desired and consensually received.
Although quite a few sissies have a love/hate relationship with verbal humiliation and name-calling, they can’t deny how much it turns them on. As a Dominant, I feed off their reaction – blushing, squirming, groaning with shame, breath catching, clitty throbbing…their emotional reaction made physical.
I’m under no illusion that erotic name-calling leads us into some tricky, triggering territory.
If you’re likely to be triggered by unacceptable, aggressive, abusive language, bow out now – this article isn’t for you.
A sissy by any other name
“Sissy” holds a whole world of implications and inferences. I’m fascinated by all the different names and descriptors that swirl around sissies because they tell us a lot about society’s views.
To explore this, I wrote down all the names I could think of and had my three sissies do the same. What emerges from this list are the traits sissies are badged with and shamed for.
And it’s a catalogue of homophobia, effeminophobia, misogyny, transphobia and kink shaming. Hardly surprising. Society historically has disapproved of behaviours and desires that fall outside traditional gender roles. And there seems to be a lingering contempt towards guys who don’t fit masculine norms. However, a few names on this list are thrown at women. So it seems sissies can be insulted as both an effeminate man and a woman.
Despite all that, or actually because of it, I believe erotic name-calling can be redemptive and freeing used in the right ways.
Every sissy will find different names erotic, unerotic or downright offensive.
As a Dominant, you have to be sensitive to which names are ok for each sissy, and which are not. For example, one of my sissies has a hard limit on the word ‘fag’. Another of my sissies gets hard when I call her a ‘fag’. Luckily, I have a good memory.
That word is particularly divisive, even in BDSM circles. I would only ever use it in a scene where the sissy I’m saying it to knows my real-life position on that word, on LGBTQIA+ issues and my own gender. (I’m non-binary trans and refer to myself as queer. I’ve also called people out for using that word in normal life.) Every sissy and Dominant will have different words that are on the ‘do not use’ list. Having a shared understanding of these helps to ensure that the wrong name doesn’t derail a session.
We love the ones we hurt the most
I enjoy finding humiliating names and terms for my sissies. I like to use them in my written messages as well as in person when I’m sessioning with them. The funny thing is, no matter how cruel those shame-inducing insults sound, they are said with great underlying affection. This is important.
I need my sissy to know I value her just as she is…before I can really tear into her verbally. I need that bond…because a lot of the names I’m going to call her are true. “You’re a filthy little cocksucker.” “You’re a limp-wristed, panty-wearing pansy.”
As the ‘mean girl’, I can look into her eyes as I call her those longed-for, dreaded, shiver-inducing, panty-dampening names.
In the emotionally safe space of our session and my collar, my sissy can allow herself to feel the sting of those words, revel in the shame and eroticism of it all.
This shows how layered D/s is.
Call me by your names
As I mentioned, to help me with this collection, I asked all my sissies to give me as many names as they could think of. I actually had the thrill of making sissy amanda kneel on my floor and start her list whilst wearing her sissilicious pink satin dress. I was unimpressed that she only managed 12 names in the time she had, so I sent her home with the list with orders to continue writing names as she watched Eurovision. Her list is the image you see on this blog. So…here are the results…the collective efforts of one FemDom and three much-loved, verbally-abused sissies. *fond smile*
Fuckpuddle of filth
Piece of whipping meat
More names to add?
If you have more sissy names, I’d love to hear them! Share in the comments.
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